Play therapy for children

Online In Montana & In-person in missoula

It can be so difficult to see your child struggle.

You might wonder if what you’re seeing is normal development, or something to be concerned about. Or if the “phase” is really just a phase, or if it’s something more ominous. You don’t want to be that parent, overly worried, but also you don’t want to neglect something that is showing up and needs to be attended to. So you turn to the experts on the socials, the articles on “the goog” and books…and find very little that’s helpful.

Maybe you’re noticing:

  • Your child has massive tantrums at home, but with everyone else she’s a perfect angel

  • Resistance to go to school, stomachaches, defiance while there, and regular emails from the teacher

  • Anxiety at bedtime, nightmares, clinginess, fears that seem irrational

  • Regression in development: Bedwetting, babytalk, refusing to do things he used to do

  • Trouble with friends, being a “sore loser,” a “bully” or controlling/bossy, whining

Also, if your child has experienced any of the following:

  • Divorce or separation

  • Loss of a family member, friend or pet

  • Medical procedures, surgery

  • Recent move to a new home, city, or state

  • Car accident

  • Serious injury or illness of someone in the family

  • Traumatic birth, witnessed violence

  • Racial oppression, or other systemic oppression or witnessed it

  • Poverty

Children can internalize and think about issues and not discuss what they are thinking and feeling with caregivers because they may not have the words to use - and may not even know what it is they are feeling, and it comes out in their behavior.

This is why play therapy is so valuable.

Play therapy helps the child express their feelings.

Working with children through play is the process used by a trained therapist to help a child express and process their experiences.

The therapist will use whatever play mode the child chooses or invite specific activities for the child.

In this playful setting, a therapist can teach coping skills and emotional fluency and help a child master their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Think of when your child did something, and you became frustrated. Think of that frustration and what happened in your body. Did your heart beat faster? Did you clench your jaw or fists? Did your eyes open wider, or did you take a deep inhale?

Any of those feelings represent your nervous system talking to you. When you face a challenge (your child’s unwanted behavior, for example), your nervous system reacts – and in this example – goes into a hyper-aroused state and you feel frustration and anger.

The same thing happens to children through play. They play in such a way that their unresolved feelings, past, unprocessed experiences, and confusing emotions become activated or triggered.

For example, they may get more active, speak faster, or choose unpredictable behaviors. Or, they may collapse into helplessness or withdrawal.

At that moment, I, as the therapist, can teach them how to regulate their nervous system. Right then and there. Of course, I don’t pause the play and say, “Now we will breathe deeply and regulate.” I will do this through therapeutic play, authenticity, and presence.

Play therapy seems simple – but it isn’t.

How play therapy works

Synergetic Play Therapy is a complex web of concepts that include relational neuroscience, attachment theory, therapist authenticity, play, honesty, neuroception (the felt sense of safety), child development, parent education, and skills training.

Through play, your child can overcome stress and explore their feelings, and learn new options for coping with big emotions and distress. Play is when children can communicate in a trusting environment, allowing the therapist to help them process their emotions.

Start the process today to help your child grow through play and express their feelings in their language.

What we’ll work on

Therapy can help your child:

  • Learn when they are dysregulated

  • Identify the felt sense in their body, and what it means

  • Set healthy boundaries for themselves

  • Master coping strategies when they are feeling big feelings

  • Feel comfortable with all their emotions, and being themselves

Your child has incredible gifts, strengths, & potential.

I’M HERE TO HELP THEM discover that.

FAQS

Common questions about therapy for children

  • Therapeutic play is more than simply playing. But I really understand how confusing it might be to see your child go into a playroom, hear sounds of giggling, laughing - sometimes shrieks - and wonder “how is this helping?”

    I want to assure you I track your child’s progress in therapy relative to the goals we set together. I observe their starting points, the challenges they are overcoming, and moments of empowerment I see that emerge as the work deepens.

    After each session, I will give you a summary. This may include information of how your child is progressing towards their goals, how you can better support them at home, their emotional age, and what they are currently working on.

    My goal is that you are a part of the process too, even if you aren’t in the playroom with your child.

  • Great question. Usually I will either have the parents check in during the last 10-min of each session while the child waits in the lobby, OR I will message the parents after a 50-min session, and have a parent session every 5th session. During these times I will support the parents by offering parenting strategies and skills that will help their child at home with what they are working on. I also can help the parent with any parenting tweaks that might help make family life at home more effective and harmonious.

  • On average, a child is in therapy with me for about 15-16 sessions per issue. If there are layers, or complicated issues, it may take more sessions. Additionally, if the child is younger it could take fewer sessions. If a child comes weekly, it will save you time and money, than if you spaced your sessions out.

  • I see children individually even as young as toddler unless it makes sense for their grown up to be in the play room too. Those cases may be for repair of attachment ruptures, or if a child has severe separation anxiety and needs time to feel comfortable with a new person. If this is something you are concerned about, contact me, and we can discuss it.

  • I do. However, depending on the situation, I would probably see each child individually first, beginning at the same time, so they aren't acting out any trauma on each other in our joint sessions.

    If one sibling was seeing me individually for a while and then you hoped another to see me later, we would need to discuss this with the first due to me being "theirs." If this is a problem I can help find another suitable therapist for your other child. Please contact me to discuss this if you have questions.

  • Yes. I love seeing parents of children I see! The only time I would not do this is if the child doesn't feel comfortable having their parent see the same therapist. This generally happens when the child is older, 9+.

    If I am seeing you as a family, I will not see any of you individually but I can help you find a therapist of your own.

  • I work with toddlers and young children. You can decide if your child fits into that description.

    However, I am trained to work with infants,with their parents, and I do enjoy older kids and teens as well, and have successfully worked with 10-18 year olds!

  • It is, at every age. I specialize in adoption, and actually did my first Masters thesis on preventing adoption trauma.

    I would be honored to support your family in this way.

  • I do. I am neuro-affirming and love to work with ADHD kids, autistic kids, PDA kids, or any other type of neurodivergence.

    I am ADHD/autistic myself.

    I do not support ABA.